The awkward walrus

'I like being a little bit awkward'. These were my sister's words of wisdom, a little while back halfway through dinner when we were having a big catch up, reflecting on recent happenings in our lives. We had a quite a giggle about it - we both recognised that we are good at creating or finding ourselves in awkward situations.

This is not a new revelation though. In my student house at university, it was such a commonly used description that we decided to adopt a new awkward animal (you know, like the awkward turtle). My housemate's boyfriend volunteered that the walrus fitted this role perfectly and from that time on we had many 'walrus-ey' moments. (In fact sometimes I think we made things awkward so we could bring out those tusks!)

When you are with people you don't know so well it can be painfully difficult. When the words slip out and don't quite sound like you thought they would, or you're trying to make small talk and you just sound stupid, or the long pause....

All of us have our different quirks and oddities. Some awkwardness is because you know that a relationship isn't natural. It isn't as you know it could and/should be. Perhaps that's because you simply don't know the person very well, for example it's one of the first times you have met. The guards are up and so a nervous giggle is spilled or you stutter and stumble over words. Some of it is tied up in wanting to come across well to another person. I think pride has a lot to answer for! The need to be accepted raises the stakes and in trying to suppress all of the things you think people won't like an awkward version of you appears at times.

Whatever the reason for 'tusking', I think there are times when awkwardness can be redeemed. What I mean is that when a situation seems beyond repair because of something you have said or done but the other person doesn't let that affect the relationship. When you are with close friends or family the comfort of deep relationship can swallow up the embarrassment quickly leaving you with just funny memories. 

It is more striking though when it is a stranger who acts in this way. As a shy person in a new place there have been a few occasions when I have felt deflated because I think that my words or actions have ruined a possible friendship only to be graciously accepted by the other person despite this. This way in which love is shown is so wonderfully humbling, especially when it is with someone you hardly know. These times are a beautiful glimpse of the way that Jesus Christ sees us and embraces us despite our flaws. His acceptance is even to the point of giving up his life for us!

'This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No-one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.' 1 John 4 vv10-12

Embrace the walrus!