Are you ready?

Our lives require constant preparation for the next thing. Preparing for visitors to arrive. Writing lesson plans. Thinking about an upcoming presentation. Getting ready to catch the train. Cleaning for spring. Revising for that really important exam. Preparing your thesis for submission. Cooking for Sunday lunch. Organising a party for the milestone age which has come round far too quickly. Waiting for the arrival of a new baby. Preparing for the next job interview. And so on...

We throw all of our efforts into the looming event or deadline. Whether momentarily or for weeks or even months the end goal takes over our thoughts and actions. It can be as if we put our lives on hold until the time arrives.

For some the joy is in preparing well in advance, for others it is in the thrill of pulling everything together at the last minute. I definitely fall into the former category, with my panic alert set well above the necessary threshold.

I was challenged recently about how I live day to day. I spend so much time preparing for things on earth that I so often put off eternal preparations. But we need to be ready, we can't keep putting it off.

‘Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: if the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.’ Matthew 24:42-44

My default position is to feel disheartened by the fact that there are so many things that spend my time on that I have built up to be so important and big to me. I daily fall back into my short-sighted temporary focus and push aside the eternal.

But it’s wrong to think that what we do now isn’t important. A friend reminded me that although what we do day to day is temporary, it is through the temporary that we live for the eternal. 

We are in the waiting – and we don’t know how long it will last. In the busyness of all our deadlines, exams and expectations in this temporary world how are you investing in and readying yourself (and others) for the eternal?

‘The secret is Christ in me and not me in a different set of circumstances.’ Elizabeth Elliot

#sorrynotsorry

I've realised I say sorry a lot.

Often I say it without thinking. It just comes out.

Apart from using it to apologise for something I have done wrong I frequently use it to apologise for myself. Take an example - when I am playing a team sport I will say it in expectation of performing badly.

'I'm sorry I'm not very good at {insert any sport here}'

I then go on to repeatedly apologise for every mis-hit, stray kick and girly throw.

The other common occurrence is when I apologise when I feel as though I am in someone's way even though I there is nothing wrong with what I am doing (e.g. I am getting some vegetables at the supermarket and someone comes along behind me to get some of the same. I am aware that I am keeping them waiting and so apologise for causing a 30 second delay in someone else's day).

It caught my attention recently in an advert using the hashtag #sorrynotsorry. Apparently this is quite a trendy phrase on social media. According to the urban dictionary; 'Sorrynotsorry is a term used by someone usually unhappy with someone because they are thought to have done something wrong. They use this term as if to say "What I did wasn't wrong so sorry, I'm not sorry"'

So why do I so often say sorry in the ways listed above?

I think much of it comes down to approval. I want others to like me. I'm not sorry to them, I'm sorry that they may think badly of me.  I'm saying sorry that I will not/do not meet up to expectations so I can save face. In the case of #sorrynotsorry it's going a step further and making out that the person feeling wronged has no right to think badly of me and I want everyone to know that.

At the root I believe there are two main problems.

Firstly - the belief that 'I' am the most important. It is evidence that my own reputation has become ultimate to me. It is the demonstration of a pre-eminent belief of an entitlement to approval, praise and love from others. In fact it shows more concern about what others think of me than about the people themselves. It's more subtle than showing off about yourself but it's essentially the same thing. The end goal is the same - to be held in high esteem, to be liked. But this is wrong because the perspective is all wrong.   

Secondly it shows a false view of myself. Sometimes I know I am sincerely apologising for myself. I feel ashamed of who I am, my inability to perform and embarrassment for being an annoyance.  Essentially all I do or say is once again influenced by how I think others perceive it.

These two reasons for saying sorry look for worth and value in the wrong places. The truth we find in the gospel liberates us from apologising our way to gaining human acceptance and approval.

We are all created in God's image with different strengths and personalities. We are not meant to be apologising all the time for who we are - this stems from a false understanding of who we are, who God is and of the gospel.*

John Piper helpfully writes that 'the empty craving for the praise of others signals the absence of faith in God's future grace'. We are broken and imperfect people but there is hope for transformation in the gospel (Romans 6:6-11).

In Psalm 139 David expresses his thanks to God - he is fully known by God. Despite this God remains faithful to him and cares deeply for him. In v14 he says;

'I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.'

We should be praying that our souls would be full of what God has done for us in Christ and that this would transform our view of ourselves. This is the remedy for both reasons behind why we inappropriately apologise. When we look through the glasses of the gospel of grace our eyes are lifted from ourselves. As Tim Keller points out in 'The Freedom of self-forgetfulness';

' the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less.'  

We can have hope that as our regard for Christ grows in grace our understanding of what has been done for us provides ultimate unending satisfaction and meaning and affirmation and the 'need' to say sorry to gain approval will fade.


*(Read Ephesians 1 - we have been chosen and adopted through Christ's work on the cross we actually bring praise to God's glorious grace).

Daniel: Living distinctively in a secular culture

Last weekend I was away at the Christian Medical Fellowship Junior Doctors Conference. It was a wonderful opportunity to meet new and old friends, gather together, realign our hearts by being reminded of the great gospel which saves us, be encouraged to stand firm and challenged to live confident, morally distinct lives as we seek to be salt and light in a secular NHS.

We were able to hear from a doctor-turned-pastor, Jason Roach, in our main sessions. He opened up the book of Daniel for us. Here are 5 things I have been challenged to think about about as I have come home:

1. Am I willing to go against the grain even when it seems no-one else understands?

Daniel was an exile in a foreign land and he with his friends were selected to be taught in the language and literature of Babylon. Daniel could have been tempted to blend in completely but he was prepared to draw a line and resisted becoming like the culture around him. He was not willing to compromise on some important points. He was confident that God was in charge and in control of the situation he was in. We too are so easily influenced by the culture around us at work, home, amongst friends and with family. The truth that God's control far exceeds any human rule equips us with the strength we need to be different.

We can be confidently distinct because the Lord is in control.

2. Where do I put put my trust and why do I fear man?

In Daniel 2 the King Nebuchadnezzar is troubled by his dreams. He calls all the people he can think of to see if they can tell its meaning. When they fail to deliver he is filled with fury and commands all the wise men of the land to be killed. This includes Daniel. But in the face of death Daniel boldly approaches the angry king and requests some time in order to bring the interpretation to him. But he doesn't leave it there. After this he goes back to his friends and 'told them to seek mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery' (Dan 2v18 ESV). He has fearless dependence in God - he knows that the kingdom of Nebuchadnezzar is temporary, but that he serves a King who rules an everlasting kingdom (Dan 2v44). We live in the confidence of Jesus' victory at the cross where he crushed his enemies, allowing us to enter this everlasting Kingdom! This encourages us to not fear, but to completely depend on our all-sufficient Saviour when we face opposition.

Our dependence should be in God, and when it is we have nothing to fear

3. When I face suffering am I able to say that God is enough for me whatever the outcome? Do I care more about being faithful or about my comfort?

Daniel's friends are faced with a decision in chapter 3. They are commanded to bow down to a huge golden idol with the threat that if they doin't they would be thrown into a fiery furnace. They refuse to bow down because they care more about being faithful to God than their fate. They trust that God can deliver them from the flames (Daniel 3v18) but they do not know for sure that God will. Despite this, for them, serving God was still worth it even if it was to get worse. God may not choose to take us out of the flames of the situation we are in but when we face decisions like this we can look to Jesus. He suffered far beyond anything we will ever suffer - he humbled himself even to the point of death. He chose to follow the will of God the Father for our sakes.

We have a Saviour who is worth serving whatever the cost

4. Am I prepared to warn my friends and colleagues of the stark reality of rejecting the gospel?

Daniel had a challenging job when King Nebuchadnezzar again asks for him to tell the meaning of a dream. The dream has a message that God is going to humble the proud King by causing him to become like a beast. Daniel acknowledges to the king that the message is not going to be easy to hear but shares it nonetheless, and in Daniel 4v27 he urges him to turn away from his sins. When we fail to share the gospel with our friends we are not loving them - for if we truly cared we would want them to share in the same rescue we have, by God's grace.

God humbles the proud, therefore don't give up

5.Which areas of life do I need to give back to God? Am I letting God reign over me so he can reign through me?

A year later the proud King is still exalting himself and his achievements and God's promised humbling comes. Finally King Nebuchadnezzar listens and he lifts his eyes to heaven. He realises that he is not in control and when he realises that it God who reigns, God starts to work through him (Daniel 4v36). when we take a step back we can see a wonderful parallel. By God's grace we do not have to be humbled like King Nebuchadnezzar was because Jesus was humbled in our place. After suffering the death we deserve he rose and conquered death and is now reigning in heaven at God's right hand (Phil 2). He went through what we deserve! When we understand this we should praise Jesus as King.

Knowing Jesus is King is our sanity

Remembered no more

I've been thinking about forgiveness a fair bit over the last few days/weeks following a bible study and sermon at church. 

One thing that I find really difficult is to show an attitude of forgiveness to someone who has wronged me when there is no sign of repentance, or if they are unaware of what they have done.

I went on to read an article by RT Kendall in Christianity Today, 'Forgiving the unrepentant' (2005). He said that there are 6 ways that show that we have truly forgiven someone in our hearts:

(1) You do not tell anybody what they did to you (this would be trying to punish the one who hurt you);
(2) you do not try to intimidate them;
(3) you do not let them feel guilty;
(4) you let them save face;
(5) you accept the matter of total forgiveness as a "life sentence"—you have to keep doing it, indefinitely;
(6) you pray that they will be blessed and let off the hook.

This can be summed up by saying that the way that you relate to them, on all levels is not at all influenced by their actions against you. 

Reading through that list the first time initially made my toes curl. It felt uncomfortable. If someone has done wrong against me they need to know how much it has hurt me, or at least show remorse and repentance for the pain they have caused. Inbuilt in us we know that sin deserves punishment. 

Therefore the kind of forgiveness described above, with or without repentance, is costly. 

Essentially by offering this attitude of forgiveness you are deciding not to relate to someone on the basis of what they have done. By not broadcasting how you've been wronged, saving the offender from embarrassment and guilt and even showing your enemies love - in each of these actions- the cost, the hurt, the pain, it stays on you. 

It doesn't seem fair or right.

Until you look at the bigger picture. 

God, in his great mercy and love decided not to relate to us on the basis of what we have done. Even as Jesus was put to death on the cross, in Luke 23v34, he said; 

'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do'

He offered this attitude of forgiveness and then completed this by taking the full debt of our sin upon himself in death. This is far more costly than anything we experience when we are sinned against. 

So God's heart is a heart of forgiveness, but he is just and requires repentance for salvation. This is his greatest desire for us. When we do repent he not only forgives us, but he chooses to see us as completely perfect.

We mess this perfection up every day by continuing to fail him in more ways than we realise. But his attitude remains the same, he longs for us to keep running back, to continually yearn for a better relationship - he knows what we've done but he will never stop loving us. He is with us and will work through it with us for good.

When we read in the bible about how to relate to each other we are to always be free from bitterness, vengeance and hatred. We are to love our enemies, to forgive as we have been forgiven. This stands even when we receive no apology, but is a choice we can make, by the work of the Holy Spirit in us, because of what has been done for us.

I won't pretend that having this attitude of forgiveness is easy. But oh that we might understand better the grace we have received, so that this might grow in us. This requires us to pray for a heart of forgiveness and to think about all that has been done for us, giving praise to our infinitely forgiving heavenly Father. 

Reluctant Introvert

Always the quiet one.

Floundering when the small talk starts (I'm trying, please bear with me)

Swallowed up in a room full of people (especially if I don't know you all that well)

Slow to contribute (although I desperately want to)

Seemingly disinterested (but I'm listening to and thinking about every word)

Never anything worthwhile to say (although my thoughts are THUNDERING in my head)

Just about to speak (but then someone's said pretty much what I was going to say anyway, so I'll leave it)

The one with little confidence (- sometimes that's true)

Apparently awkward and perhaps boring (but you don't know me)

Go home deflated that I failed again (because quiet is bad, isn't it?)

Cut out

Last week I was chatting to my Mam and we got onto the topic of beauty and self-image. I listed my areas of dissatisfaction with myself and then talked about the ways I was planning to fix these things, along the lines of 'I know there are things wrong, but I am in control'. At that moment in time it seemed like such a big thing. The way I look and am perceived by others felt like a huge deal, I felt like no-one could understand. I felt ugly, frustrated, disappointed with myself. There were tears. 

Whilst I was surrounded by thoughts of myself, my Mam told me about my grandmother, my mother's mother. She was a soft, bubbly welsh lady. I remember her sweet comforting smell and her warm smiles. She was a loving and generous lady who delighted in seeing others happy. Every night she would spend hours cooking a full roast dinner with about 10 different types of vegetable (ok, yes, I exaggerate a little - but only a little!), followed by a home-made pudding. To me as a child/teenager she always seemed content and satisfied. 

But my Mam told me of how she too struggled with image. She disliked the way that she looked in so much in some photos that she cut her face out of them. 

She had a round face with prominent, youthful cheeks. My Mam told me that she did not consider herself beautiful and was embarrassed by the photos. But I knew her to be beautiful inside and out. When I have looked back at photos of her younger days I see that same beauty.

I never had an opportunity to ask Grandma why she cut herself out. Never got to ask what she disliked so much. It makes me sad that she felt this way.

But I can relate to my Grandma. I've inherited some of her features and probably struggle with similar things. With social media and photos available for all to see, instead of cutting ourselves out of photos, we choose to hide by 'detag'ging and removing photos from our pages.


But God doesn't cut us out. He doesn't detag. 

The truth is that God loves us whatever we look like- even as he loved his own Son (John 17v23).

To the point that he gave Jesus up for us (John 3v16)

He chose us (1 Thess 1v4)

We are God's handiwork ( Ephesians 2v10)...made by Him for his glory! (Romans 1v16)

We are made new in Christ (2 Corin 5v17)

One day we will be like Him when we see him - what a hope! (1 John 3v2)

We need each other

'See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.'

Hebrews 3:12-13

Continuing on from my last post, the health of our hearts is central to a living and thriving christian life. In the same way that when our physical hearts become hardened we die, we need to guard our hearts from becoming spiritually dead. Our personal relationship with God is important and without daily food from the bible and communication by prayer we will not be able to grow or be strengthened (see 1 Peter 2v2). But God has given us community. We need each other to keep going and for continued sanctification. We are called to encourage or exhort each other so that out hearts do not become hard and unbelieving. This is something that we will always need and so we are to continue to do this every day!

Encouraging things:

• Tell each other the truth of the gospel
• We have an inheritance in heaven (Heb 3v1)
• Jesus was faithful to God's will for him, for our salvation (v2, 6)
• We have confidence and hope in Jesus (v6)
• Jesus not only died to forgive us, but rose again overcoming death
• Jesus is seated in heaven, reigning in glory (v3)
• etc, etc...(I could never exhaust this list!)
• Share with each other answered prayers/ways in which God has been working in your life
• Pray for each other and with each other
• Listen to each others struggles
• Humbly point out the hard areas of our hearts
• In love show each other the places they fail
• Be truthful about your own struggles
• Practical things: 
• Bake a cake
• Help with shopping
• Cook a meal
• Spend time together
• Chat on the phone
• Hug
• Laugh together
• Cry together
• Play games together
• Share a meal
• etc...

Things that fail to encourage:

• Assume everyone else is sorted and doing ok
• Pretend you're doing ok
• Keep friendships as superficial as possible
• Hide your ugly parts
• Talk about mundane things
• Never speak about the gospel to each other
• Be too afraid to point out each other's failures
• ...unless you're gossiping about how annoying they are to someone else
• Fail to say hello to the new person sat next to you
• Sneak in and out of church talking to a bare minimum of people
• Isolate yourself
• Don't share life
• Mope about not being invited out to lunch but never seek to invite others